Lessons from But for God Author, Debra Evans

Last week’s interview with Debra Evans was such an inspirational and humbling experience.  Although her book is one woman’s journey through neglect, abuse and heartache on her way to her current path with God, there are many lessons to be found for all of us.

The premise of this book is that women, especially, are tricked into believing that life should be a fairytale and when it is not, they are lonely, depressed and confused.  Debra found her power through a relationship with God…but as a parent…something struck me on a whole different level.  Debra talks about how adults and children alike are often distrustful because “your world was so carelessly shaped by the adults who were supposed to be nurturing you.”  This line struck home with me.  I often think about how we, as adults, sometimes make decisions, have arguments, grouch on tough days, and assume our kids are not internalizing this.  We assume kids either “don’t get it” or that they are resilient.  And while kids are resilient, it is true, kids are less resilient if they are not nurtured to be so.

Personal Branding…the whole essence of what we talk about on What’s Your Story, is really tied back to the idea of not being careless, but rather deliberate with your decisions.  Know why you are doing things and what it is communicating.  After listening to Debra last week, I am challenging myself to be more deliberate with my communication with my own kids.  If they hear an argument, it needs to be respectful and have resolution.  If things are difficult in my adult world, I need them to understand that it has nothing to do with anything that they did wrong.  In the end, their job is not be a witness to my carelessness, but to be loved and nurtured into the wonderful people I know they will be.

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